there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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