singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
