just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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