he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
