you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
