I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
