Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
