i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
