she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
