Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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