I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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