my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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