so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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