Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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