im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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