i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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