yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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