Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
