It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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