I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
