her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
