Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
