i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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