My room smells like vodka and shame
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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