I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
How external is "for external use only"?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
