Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
