What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
