am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Randomize
