I'm going to jail i love you
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
