I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
