When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
you had me at cake vodka
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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