i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
