im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He better not be in your backpack
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
