dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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