I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
