I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
