problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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