I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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