dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
