My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
