You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The feeling are messing with the penis
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
