i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
