So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
