Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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