they need to just BURY HIM!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize