if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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