Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
