I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
