32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
