The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
