shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
