your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
