so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
