i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She's just so happy...and so naked.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
