You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
