We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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