i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
