a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
