i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
