she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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