ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
