the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize