I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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