No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize