it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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