...so i touched it.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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