I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
