i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
